#79: "The Box"

Stats: 2009. Starring Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, and Frank Langella. PG-13.

Background: I was intrigued by The Box from the first time I heard of it. Of course, a large part of that interest was due to James Marsden’s presence in the film. (I’ve previously mentioned how much I enjoy him!) I wasn’t interested enough to go to the theater, but I intended to rent it one day. I never did. Last Christmas, one of my students let me borrow it to watch while my sister was home. We didn’t watch it then, so I kept it, intending to watch it. Finally, tonight, I put it in. I guess it’s mine now, as Janet didn’t really want it back, and she’s now in college.

Plot: Arthur & Norma Lewis (Marsden and Diaz) are struggling to make ends meet. Arthur, a NASA engineer, has just been rejected for astronaut training. Norma, a teacher at a private school, has just learned her faculty tuition discount is about to end, so their son will have to change schools. One morning, a mysterious box shows up on their doorstep. That evening, a strange, disfigured man arrives with a proposal: push the button on the top of the box and receive a $1,000 payment. The catch? The instant the button is pushed, someone the Lewis’s don’t know will die. Norma does push the button, launching the family on a strange, convoluted journey that culminates in Norma’s own murder.

Reactions: First off, Cameron Diaz’s southern accent isn’t great. It’s too southern—as if they live in the deep south, not Virginia. But with a great movie, I’d be able to easily get past the accent; unfortunately, The Box is not a great movie! It tries to be suspenseful and scary (and the music really wants you to be scared), but it just ends up being boring. I would have enjoyed it much more as a 30 or 60 minute episode of The Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits than I did as a full-length film, and I had to watch it in three installments, as I just couldn’t force myself to keep going. If I hadn’t been watching it for my blog, I never would have finished it. And aliens? Really? That was the explanation the filmmakers came up with? Also, what does it say about the writer’s view of women that each person who pushed the button was a woman? 

Verdict: Get rid of (send back to Janet, even if she doesn’t want it!)

#78 "Fools Rush In"

Stats: 1997. Starring Matthew Perry & Salma Hayek. PG-13.

Background: In 1998, on a whim, I went home with a friend for the weekend. She scared me with her driving, we ate lots of KFC chicken, I met one of my current co-workers for the first time, and we watched movies: Air Force One (reviewed here), Dante’s Peak, and Fools Rush In. Fools Rush In was my favorite of the three, and about 10 years later, I picked it up on dvd.

Plot: When New Yorker Alex gets sent to Vegas to oversee the construction of a club, he meets Mexican American Isabel, and they have a one-night stand. Three months later, Isabel shows up again, announcing she’s pregnant, and on the spur of the moment, Alex marries her. But the blending of two cultures proves more difficult than either of them imagined, and their marriage is soon on the rocks. By the time their child is born, will they still be together?

Reactions: This is still one of my favorite rom-coms, and I’m pretty sure the reason is Matthew Perry. He’s definitely not your classic leading man, but he has this extreme likability. There’s also an extreme Chandler Bing-ness to his performance, but that’s okay, as Chandler was my favorite “friend.” Plus, Perry and Hayek have great chemistry, making this film enjoyable every time I see it.

Verdict: Keep

#77 "Deliver Us from Eva"

Stats: 2003. Starring LL Cool J, Gabrielle Union, Duane Martin, and Essence Atkins. R. Based on Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew.

Background: I distinctly remember watching the beginning of Deliver Us from Eva on cable a few years ago, but then I had to leave, and I never watched the rest of it. I found it at Walmart recently in a three-pack with Something New and The Best Man. I’d previously seen and liked Something New, and The Best Man turned out to be a bust, so I hoped that Deliver Us from Eva would at least be somewhere in between the two. Fortunately, it was.

Plot: Deliver Us from Eva is a loose retelling of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. Eva Dandridge (Union) is adored by her three sisters and loathed by their significant others, who believe she has too much influence over her sisters. The men decide that Ray (LL Cool J), the ultimate player, is the answer to their Eva problem. They hire him to woo Eva, convince her to move away with him, and then dump her. The problem? Ray actually falls for Eva, and she decides to turn down a promotion that would require her to move to Chicago because of Ray. If only the men would have left well enough alone …

Reactions: This is the kind of Shakespeare adaptation I love—do you hear me, Coriolanus? Sure, it’s a very loose adaptation (much looser than the Heath Ledger classic 10 Things I Hate About You, which I loved), but it’s also very enjoyable! This movie won’t change the world, but it’s a fun way to spend an evening.

Content Note: Deliver Us from Eva is rated R for “sex-related dialog.” Most of this comes during some crass beauty shop scenes—and frankly, I didn’t even understand half of the references. Otherwise, the language is strictly PG-13. If this movie were released today, it would probably carry a PG-13 rating instead of R.

Watch For: A scene after the end credits reveals that the male hair dresser has a secret ...

Verdict: Keep

#76 "The Best Man"

Stats: 1999. Starring Taye Diggs, Morris Chestnut, Nia Long, Sanaa Lathan. R.

Background: Have you ever wanted to see a movie, but you have this vague feeling that maybe you won’t like it, and you don’t know why? That perfectly describes me and The Best Man. I have long been interested in the film—the cast alone made me want to see it—so when I saw it on sale at Walmart in a 3-pack with Deliver Us From Eva and Something New, I picked it up. (Something New is the only one of the three I’d seen previously, and I knew I liked it a lot.)

Plot: Harper (Diggs) is a novelist whose first book—which is more than loosely based on his college experience—is about to be released. This release coincides with his friends Lance and Mia’s wedding. As the college friends gather together to celebrate Lance & Mia’s nuptials, long-buried secrets are revealed.

Reactions: About halfway through the film, I realized why I had that vague "I don't know if I'll like this" feeling—my sister watched the movie last year and told me all about it! She was especially troubled by Lance, as was I ... which you'll see in a minute.

I really wanted to like this movie. I mean, what’s not to love about Taye Diggs? Here’s the thing, though: the plot is terrible! First of all, why on earth would you write about a one-night stand you had with your best friend’s girl if you hadn’t previously confessed it to the friend? This is the major conflict in the film—trying to keep Lance from reading the book so he won’t find out that Harper once slept with Mia, and then, following his discovery, trying to convince him to go through with the wedding.

Then there's Harper, who views this wedding as a second chance with Jordan (Long), the one that got away. Nevermind that he's in a two-year relationship with Robin (Lathan). The night of the bachelor party, Jordan invites him to spend the night, and he would have, had Lance not discovered Harper and Mia's one night stand. Yet the next day, Harper is somehow ready to propose to Robin, and she accepts, knowing that he nearly slept with Jordan? Give me a break!

My biggest beef, though, is with Lance. Lance—by far the most promiscuous of the bunch—claims to be a Christian. After he messes up, he apologizes, goes to the Bible for comfort, and then cheats on Mia again. Apparently amid all the (sometimes obscure) Scripture he memorized, he neglected John 8, where Jesus tells the woman caught in adultery to "Go and sin no more." He is publicly vocal about his faith ... but his public and private personas don't match up at all. I’m not saying I expect Hollywood to portray Christianity accurately, but to have Lance be the only Christian in the film perpetuates the idea that all Christians are total hypocrites. Also, there is a fair amount of sexuality in the film and an even larger amount of cursing, which makes my decision easy …

Verdict: Throw away (Thank you, whoever designed this 3-pack, for giving each film its own disk!)

#75 "Follow the Stars Home"

Stats: 2001. Starring Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Campbell Scott, Eric Close, and Alexa Vega. TV-PG. Based on a novel.

Background: Follow the Stars Home is one of the zillions of movies I taped off TV. I’m pretty sure I saw it when it first aired as a Hallmark Hall of Fame special, and then watched it every time I came across it on cable. A couple years ago, I bought the dvd from Amazon ... but that didn't stop me from continuing to watch it every time I found it on TV!

Plot: Dianne (Williams-Paisley) and Mark (Close) had a whirlwind romance that ended once they learned their child would be born with severe genetic abnormalities. After Mark takes off, Dianne raises their daughter Julia on her own with assistance from her mother (Blair Brown) and Mark’s physician brother David (Scott). When an accident brings Mark back into Dianne’s life, she wonders if perhaps he’s finally ready to be a father to Julia. But David has loved Dianne since before she met Mark, and he longs to care for both her and Julia. How will Dianne choose between the brothers?

Reactions: I love this movie! It’s so sweet … and while the romance is there, it’s more about motherly love. And I love the proposal at the end: “Marry me and eliminate lower back pain.” You’ll just have to watch it to see what I’m talking about!

Also, it’s fun to watch old TV movies and see where people are now: Blair Brown (Nina Sharp on my current favorite show Fringe), Patricia Belcher (Caroline on Bones—she was responsible for Booth & Bones’ first viewer-seen kiss), and Octavia Spencer (Oscar winner for The Help) all have supporting roles!

Verdict: Keep

#74 "The Flying Deuces"

Stats: 1939. Starring Stan Laurel & Oliver Hardy. Not rated.

Background: The Flying Deuces is one of the few movies we owned when I was a kid. And, as it was one of our only movies, we watched it often. I remember thinking it was so incredibly funny. A while back, I found it in the CBD catalog for 99 cents. How could I pass that up? I pictured showing the movie to my (still future) children and watching them enjoying it as much as I did as a kid.

Plot: While he and Stan are staying in France, Ollie becomes smitten with Georgette, the innkeeper’s daughter. When he learns she is married to François, he first decides to drown himself. But a man-eating shark scares him away from the river, so he instead decides to join the French Foreign Legion. Stan, who allows Ollie to completely control him, joins him.

Being in the Foreign Legion is much more difficult than they expected, and soon they decide to leave. They are charged with desertion and sentenced to death by firing squad, but they manage to dig their way out of their prison cell. They escape by stealing an airplane, but, as they don’t know how to fly, they crash, and Ollie dies and becomes a talking horse, à la Mr. Ed.

Reactions: Boy, was I ever bored as I watched this! The physical comedy that I found so absolutely hilarious as a child didn’t make me snicker even once. And it’s really quite dark wrapped up in a comedic exterior—just go back and read my plot summary! Honestly, I’d be happy to never watch this again. Still, I think I’ll keep it in the interest of my future children …

Verdict: Keep

P.S.: You can watch it for free here.

#73 "Did You Hear About the Morgans?"

Stats: 2009. Starring Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker. PG-13.

Background: I first got Did You Hear About the Morgans? through Netflix, back when I had both the disks and streaming. Shortly thereafter, it showed up on instant streaming, and I watched it again. I enjoyed it both times, though it’s not a movie I would have said I “had” to own. But then I saw it on sale at Target for $4.75, and I couldn’t resist!

Plot: New Yorkers Paul & Meryl Morgan—he a prominent lawyer, she a high-powered real estate agent—are separated, thanks to Paul’s infidelity. When they witness a murder, they are sent into witness protection in Wyoming. As they adjust to living in a rural setting, Paul also tries to win Meryl back. But the murderer is fast on their trail …

Reactions: There’s just something about Hugh Grant’s bumbling Englishman that I really like! (In fact, the same weekend that I watched this film, I also watched Two Weeks’ Notice, and I would have watched Notting Hill if I’d had enough time!)

Really, there’s nothing special about Did You Hear About the Morgans?—it’s just another romantic comedy. But as I happen to greatly enjoy your run-of-the-mill rom-coms, and as this one is just about as clean as they come anymore, I think it’s a keeper!

Verdict: Keep