#83: "A Christmas Wedding"

Stats: 2006. Starring Sara Paulson, Eric Mabius, and Dean Cain. TV-PG.

Background: I taped A Christmas Wedding the night it premiered … but when I sat down to watch it, I only got about 20 minutes in before turning it off. Why? Because it was painfully obvious that Dean Cain was playing the jerk boss rather than a romantic lead or even a nice guy.

You can probably surmise from that introduction that I didn’t seek this movie out! It was part of the Lifetime 12 Days of Christmas set that I just bought.

Plot: Emily (Paulson) and Ben (Mabius) met on Christmas, got engaged on Christmas, and plan to marry on Christmas. But when their wedding is just a few weeks away, Emily’s boss Tucker (Cain) sends her on a business trip. It turns into the trip that never ends, as a business deal delays her departure for home, then a tropical storm hits, and finally her flight is cancelled, which leaves her crossing the country by whatever means possible. Meanwhile, Ben is left to take care of all the last-minute wedding details while wondering if Emily really does want to get married.

Reactions: A Christmas Wedding is … fine. And that just may be the kiss of death for any film. It’s not wonderful, and it’s not so horrible that it’s laughable. It’s just okay. I think one of the main problems with the film is that the characters are too vanilla. Neither Emily nor Ben seems to have a backbone, which allows Tucker to walk all over Emily. But even he isn’t too bad; if Emily would have stood up to him at any point, I’m fairly certain he would have backed down. Then you add in the fact that it’s not very romantic—Paulson and Mabius are barely in any scenes together, and they don’t have much chemistry—and you begin to wonder what the point of this film even is.

I doubt I’ll ever watch it again, but for now I’ll keep the collection together…

Verdict: Keep with reservations

#82: "Christmas in Paradise"

Once again, we've hit the Christmas season ... and of course, I couldn't resist buying a few more Christmas movies! Here's my take on the first of several I'll be watching and reviewing this Christmas.

Stats: 2007. Starring Charlotte Ross & Colin Ferguson. TV-PG.

Background: I vaguely remember seeing the beginning of Christmas in Paradise back when I had cable, but I only watched the first few minutes before changing the channel. So why do I have it now? Well, this year Lifetime released a movie boxed set called 12 Days of Christmas which contains (you guessed it) 12 Lifetime Christmas movies. Two movies that I’ve been eyeing on Amazon for a long time are in the set (Recipe for a Perfect Christmas and His & Her Christmas), and to buy those two movies would cost more than half of what I paid for all 12 films. That’s how I rationalized it …

Plot: Dan (Ferguson) and his daughters meet Dana (Ross) and her sons when they all take a Christmas cruise to Puerto Rico. Both families are dealing with loss—Dana’s husband passed away unexpectedly at the beginning of the year, and Dan’s wife abandoned the family to return to the luxurious life she lived prior to meeting Dan. They all begin to bond while exploring San Juan, but their new relationships are threatened when Dan’s ex returns unexpectedly. Along the way, both families are frequently serenaded by the Three Kings.

Reactions: If you look beyond the cheesy Three Kings scenes that open and close this movie, you have a great family drama! I was surprised at just how much I enjoyed Christmas in Paradise. One thing I really appreciated was the romance … or lack thereof. While I’m normally all about romance in Christmas movies, sometimes I get annoyed at just how quickly people fall in love and make lifetime commitments. This movie was different. While Dan and Dana definitely had a connection, they didn’t rush into anything. They didn’t make any promises about the future. They didn’t even kiss! When the film ended, I didn’t know if they would end up together, and that was okay. Really, the film was more about each person dealing with his or her grief and resentment than it was about finding love. Sometimes, in the midst of all the schmaltzy Christmas romance, you need a film like this!

Verdict: Keep

#81: "For Richer or Poorer"

Stats: 1997. Starring Tim Allen & Kirstie Alley. PG-13.

Background: I first saw For Richer or Poorer at my cousins’ house when we were in high school. I thought it was one of the funniest movies I’d ever seen in my life. I think I saw it one or two other times, all soon after that first time.

I recently found it in a 4-pack with Ghost Dad, Pure Luck, and King Ralph in the Walmart $5 bin (where else?). I hadn't seen any of the other films, but I figured that $5 for one of the funniest movies from my teen years was well worth it, even if the others were duds.

Plot: After 10 years of marriage, millionaires Brad & Caroline Sexton (Allen and Alley) are ready to call it quits. But just when they decide to file for divorce, they’re framed by their accountant, who has been falsifying their tax returns for years. With two IRS agents on their tails, they flee New York and end up undercover in an Amish community. As they try to blend in, they also rediscover the love they once shared.

Reactions: I’m pretty sure the writers of this film didn't know the meaning of the word Ordnung. Every single time it was used in the movie, it grated on me. Why? Because the writers used it to mean “Amish community” rather than “a set of rules followed by the Amish.” On top of that, I didn’t think the film was very funny. Perhaps it just caters to more slapstick sensibilities … I don’t know why I didn’t enjoy it, but I really, really didn’t. 

Verdict: Keep (with reservations—Ghost Dad is on the same disk, so if I like that one, I’ll be keeping it.)