Stats: 2002. Starring Dean Cain, Erika Eleniak, Eric Roberts. R.
Background: This movie—a TV film that I think ran on TNT or a similar cable channel—came out my junior year of college. I wanted to watch it when it was on TV, but I someone else must have been watching the hall TV that night.
I pretty much forgot about this movie—known as Christmas Rush when it aired on TV—until Christmas. My brother and sister-in-law found a copy in a discount bin, and Andrew couldn’t resist! He did tell me I didn’t have to feel obligated to keep it!
Reactions: Wow. This movie is spectacularly terrible! I think it’s trying to be a Die Hard movie … and not really succeeding! The dialog is stilted and cheesy, the acting isn’t much better than the dialog, and it’s like the writers tried to throw in every action movie cliché in the book!
Dean Cain plays a Chicago cop who has been suspended for using excessive force in an arrest. (We see said arrest, and the person being arrested—a member of a Chinese gang—and his henchmen start firing on the officers with machine guns. I’m not quite sure how Cain’s character—who at first is unarmed—uses excessive force.) His wife works at Chicago’s most upscale mall, and after having a fight with her on Christmas Eve—about what I can’t remember—Cain heads to the mall at closing to make up. Of course, Christmas Eve is also the night Jimmy, a reformed criminal who is forced back into stealing because he needs money to pay for his son’s bone marrow transplant, decides to steal the cash from the week's sales as it heads from the mall to the bank. And, of course, Jimmy and Cain know each other, as Cain has arrested him multiple times and their children are in the same musical program.
And then we’re treated to an hour and a half of Dean Cain running around trying to stop Jimmy and his goons—and these are truly some of the stupidest criminals in the movies. One of them even blows himself up with a grenade. We see lots of machine gun fire, some intense fighting sequences, and even Dean Cain swinging on a giant Christmas decoration several stories off the ground. Cain’s partner turns out to be in cahoots with Jimmy and dies in an explosion. Then, in the end, Jimmy is caught—but only after being fatally shot. Cain gets a reward from the mall’s insurance company—on Christmas Day, no less—and he gives the money to Jimmy’s widow to pay for their son’s hospital bills.
Breakaway is ridiculously stupid, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. It may even be dumber than Bailey’s Billions, a feat that’s hard to imagine. Oh, and about the rating—there is no explicable reason for this movie to be rated R. The case says it’s rated R for violence, but the violence is way milder than what you can see any night of the week on network TV. Sure, there’s lots of gunfire, but rarely does anyone actually get hit—and when people are injured, the amount of blood shown is minimal.
Verdict: Sell (if anyone will actually buy it!)
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
#34 "Edward Scissorhands"
Stats: 1990. Starring Johnny Depp & Winona Rider. PG-13.
Background: I’ve long known of Edward Scissorhands, but I never really knew anything about it—except that Johnny Depp played a man who had scissors instead of hands. Then I heard “Ice Dance” from the score on our NPR station and was intrigued. So when I saw the movie in Walmart’s $5 bin, I took a chance on it.
Reactions: Edward Scissorhands was not at all what I expected, even though I didn’t really know what to expect! For some reason—probably because in all the pictures I saw, Edward was dressed in black—I thought this story took place in the past. Nope. Though I’m not entirely sure when it’s supposed to take place, I’d guess the ‘80s.
Edward is a young man who has scissors instead of hands. His creator died just after presenting him with hands, before he was able to attach them. An Avon lady discovers Edward and takes him to live with her family. At first, the townspeople love Edward—especially since he creates beautiful topiary sculptures in their yards and has a talent for cutting hair. Later, they turn on him, and the film ends tragically as people lose their lives and Edward lives out his life alone. (Actually, I’m not sure that Edward could actually die … perhaps the film would have us believe he still lives, secluded in his house just out of town.)
I enjoyed Edward Scissorhands, though I definitely would have changed the ending!
Verdict: Keep
Background: I’ve long known of Edward Scissorhands, but I never really knew anything about it—except that Johnny Depp played a man who had scissors instead of hands. Then I heard “Ice Dance” from the score on our NPR station and was intrigued. So when I saw the movie in Walmart’s $5 bin, I took a chance on it.
Reactions: Edward Scissorhands was not at all what I expected, even though I didn’t really know what to expect! For some reason—probably because in all the pictures I saw, Edward was dressed in black—I thought this story took place in the past. Nope. Though I’m not entirely sure when it’s supposed to take place, I’d guess the ‘80s.
Edward is a young man who has scissors instead of hands. His creator died just after presenting him with hands, before he was able to attach them. An Avon lady discovers Edward and takes him to live with her family. At first, the townspeople love Edward—especially since he creates beautiful topiary sculptures in their yards and has a talent for cutting hair. Later, they turn on him, and the film ends tragically as people lose their lives and Edward lives out his life alone. (Actually, I’m not sure that Edward could actually die … perhaps the film would have us believe he still lives, secluded in his house just out of town.)
I enjoyed Edward Scissorhands, though I definitely would have changed the ending!
Verdict: Keep
Sunday, December 27, 2009
#33 "Derby"
Stats: 1995. Starring David Charvet, Joanne Vannicola, Dean McDermott. Not Rated.
Background: Derby has long been one of my favorite movies. My family didn’t have a VCR for most of my childhood, and when we got one, a whole new world—a world of taping things—was opened up to me. We only got ABC, CBS, NBC, and PBS, but back then, the networks still produced their own movies all the time, and they showed movies on the weekends. I recorded so many movies—many of which I only watched once or twice, if at all.
Derby was one of the movies I taped—and I watched it over and over and over again, often with my cousins. A few years ago, I found it on dvd from Walmart.com. It was packaged with a horrible, horrible John Ritter movie that I threw away after watching once.
Reactions: Whenever I see Dean McDermott, I don't think, "There's Tori Spelling's husband." Instead, I think, "Hey, it's the guy from Derby!" Similarly, I don't associate David Charvet with Baywatch but with Derby.
Kate Woods returns home to her family’s horse farm when her father becomes ill. After his death, Kate, her fiancé Eric (McDermott), and her childhood sweetheart Cass (Charvet) must fight to keep the farm, all while training her horse for the Kentucky Derby.
Derby isn’t one of those movies that stands the test of time. It’s pretty cheesy and very predictable. Still, I love it, if only for the good memories surrounding watching it.
Verdict: Keep
Update: Aug. 5, 2011--Yeah, it may be cheesy and predictable, but when you watch it with someone who thinks it's as amazing as you do (in this case cousin Beth), it's an incredibly fun way to pass 90 minutes!
Background: Derby has long been one of my favorite movies. My family didn’t have a VCR for most of my childhood, and when we got one, a whole new world—a world of taping things—was opened up to me. We only got ABC, CBS, NBC, and PBS, but back then, the networks still produced their own movies all the time, and they showed movies on the weekends. I recorded so many movies—many of which I only watched once or twice, if at all.
Derby was one of the movies I taped—and I watched it over and over and over again, often with my cousins. A few years ago, I found it on dvd from Walmart.com. It was packaged with a horrible, horrible John Ritter movie that I threw away after watching once.
Reactions: Whenever I see Dean McDermott, I don't think, "There's Tori Spelling's husband." Instead, I think, "Hey, it's the guy from Derby!" Similarly, I don't associate David Charvet with Baywatch but with Derby.
Kate Woods returns home to her family’s horse farm when her father becomes ill. After his death, Kate, her fiancé Eric (McDermott), and her childhood sweetheart Cass (Charvet) must fight to keep the farm, all while training her horse for the Kentucky Derby.
Derby isn’t one of those movies that stands the test of time. It’s pretty cheesy and very predictable. Still, I love it, if only for the good memories surrounding watching it.
Verdict: Keep
Update: Aug. 5, 2011--Yeah, it may be cheesy and predictable, but when you watch it with someone who thinks it's as amazing as you do (in this case cousin Beth), it's an incredibly fun way to pass 90 minutes!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
#32 "Dave"
Stats: 1993. Starring Kevin Kline, Sigourney Weaver, Ving Rhames. PG-13.
Background: I have no idea when I first saw Dave. What I do remember is when my cousins first saw Dave. I had major surgery during the summer of 1993, and while I was in the hospital, my cousins were visiting relatives on the East Coast. Kate sent me a letter telling me about all the fun things they’d been doing—including seeing Jurassic Park and Dave in the theater.
Reactions: Dave is as much fun today as it was the first time I saw it … whenever that was! Kevin Kline does a great job in both roles—as the loathsome President Mitchell, and as sweet and adorable Dave.
Dave runs a temp agency and makes a few extra bucks as a presidential impersonator. When the president becomes seriously ill, his advisors decide to put Dave in his place and keep the illness a secret. Dave turns out to be a better president than the real president and thwarts the advisors’ evil schemes.
This movie is incredibly far-fetched (and rather predictable), but it’s still enjoyable and quite funny.
Verdict: Keep
Background: I have no idea when I first saw Dave. What I do remember is when my cousins first saw Dave. I had major surgery during the summer of 1993, and while I was in the hospital, my cousins were visiting relatives on the East Coast. Kate sent me a letter telling me about all the fun things they’d been doing—including seeing Jurassic Park and Dave in the theater.
Reactions: Dave is as much fun today as it was the first time I saw it … whenever that was! Kevin Kline does a great job in both roles—as the loathsome President Mitchell, and as sweet and adorable Dave.
Dave runs a temp agency and makes a few extra bucks as a presidential impersonator. When the president becomes seriously ill, his advisors decide to put Dave in his place and keep the illness a secret. Dave turns out to be a better president than the real president and thwarts the advisors’ evil schemes.
This movie is incredibly far-fetched (and rather predictable), but it’s still enjoyable and quite funny.
Verdict: Keep
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
#31 "Dan in Real Life"
Stats: 2007. Starring Steve Carrell, Juliette Binoche, Dane Cook. PG-13.
Background: Steph and I saw this movie in the upstairs theater at our small town cinema. I didn’t really know what to expect going in (I just knew I was a big fan of The Office), and I was pleasantly surprised. I bought it shortly after it came out on dvd, watched it three times in the first two weeks with various people, and haven’t watched it since.
Reactions: Steve Carrell is so not Michael Scott in this movie. It’s pretty crazy to see him play such a normal, understated role. I also was pleasantly surprised by Dane Cook—he is actually a pretty decent actor!
Dan is a widower who struggles to raise his three daughters, two of whom are now teenagers. When he meets up with his family for their annual reunion at his parents’ cottage, he meets the first woman who has interested him since his wife’s death. The problem? She’s his brother’s new girlfriend.
Dan in Real Life could have played out like any other romantic comedy, and to an extent, it does. Boy meets girl, boy and girl face seemingly insurmountable obstacles, boy and girl end up together. But Dan in Real Life is about more than just falling in love—it’s about the importance of family.
Verdict: Keep
Background: Steph and I saw this movie in the upstairs theater at our small town cinema. I didn’t really know what to expect going in (I just knew I was a big fan of The Office), and I was pleasantly surprised. I bought it shortly after it came out on dvd, watched it three times in the first two weeks with various people, and haven’t watched it since.
Reactions: Steve Carrell is so not Michael Scott in this movie. It’s pretty crazy to see him play such a normal, understated role. I also was pleasantly surprised by Dane Cook—he is actually a pretty decent actor!
Dan is a widower who struggles to raise his three daughters, two of whom are now teenagers. When he meets up with his family for their annual reunion at his parents’ cottage, he meets the first woman who has interested him since his wife’s death. The problem? She’s his brother’s new girlfriend.
Dan in Real Life could have played out like any other romantic comedy, and to an extent, it does. Boy meets girl, boy and girl face seemingly insurmountable obstacles, boy and girl end up together. But Dan in Real Life is about more than just falling in love—it’s about the importance of family.
Verdict: Keep
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