Thursday, September 3, 2009

#13 "Bailey's Billions"

***Remember how I said in the heading that I have to watch every movie, no matter how embarrassing? Well, this is one of those movies!***

Stats: 2005. Starring Dean Cain, Tim Curry, Jon Lovitz, Laurie Holden. G.

Background: Why do I own this movie? Two words: Dean Cain. The first time I ever saw Dean (see? We’re on a first name basis in my head!), he was on a preview for ABC’s Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. Partway through the first season, I started watching, and I was immediately hooked. I was also “in love.” While I’d had other celebrity crushes by age 12 (the first being Jonathan Brandis), Dean was the one that stuck. I know he’s old now, but I still sometimes think it would be wonderful if he would find Jesus and then find me :-) (Actually, I have no idea what his religious beliefs are ... maybe he just needs to do the "find me" step!)

Surprisingly, this is the only Dean Cain movie I own. I do have all four seasons of Lois & Clark, though!

Reactions: Bailey’s Billions is ridiculous. And not in a good way. I knew it was going to be a joke when, not five minutes into the movie, two things happened. 1) A woman’s fur scarf got stuck on something, and she began spinning like a top. 2) A dog talked. (Of course, Dean is the only one who can hear him ... )

The villains (Curry and Jennifer Tilly) are over the top; the plot line is perhaps too advanced for kids—it’s about an animal rights activist (Holden) and her daughter who discover a puppy mill; and, frankly, it’s boring.

However, it does star Dean, who is looking mighty fine (after he ditches the “look how unattractive I am” glasses and hair) … still, there’s really one option …

Verdict: Sell (so please buy it!)

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